; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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