I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
