lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
