I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize