I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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