if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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