Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
