I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
