:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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