So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
