I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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