tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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