Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You took a bar mat shot.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
