sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
