apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think I am morally bankrupt
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
