Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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