It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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