brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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