i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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