My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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