she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
