you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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