my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize