i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
