If that was your dad, he is hot
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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