Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
