beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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