A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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