Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
