I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
