I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
