I wish i was in the wii world.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
