we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
