I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
