Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
