i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
