it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
id be glad to
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
