bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
