She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
