I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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