For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
