Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
