I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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