My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
we're so committed to being not committed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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