too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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