I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
