so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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