In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
