Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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