I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
