the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
