So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
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I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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