Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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