We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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