Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
