If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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