I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
