that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
