Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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